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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27711914">alone in this world</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/godgaypeen/pseuds/godgaypeen'>godgaypeen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>fics based on songs from my kinda depressing, kinda concerning spotify playlists [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Day6 (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Break Up, Light Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Self-Reflection, but not the kind of ending that you want it to be, i didn't really plan this at all, i just heard youngk's new demo and my brain just Clicked, jae is so so sad here im sorry, this has a happy ending, this was written really fast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:21:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27711914</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/godgaypeen/pseuds/godgaypeen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jae reflects on the things that brought him to that roof; love letters from someone he still loved, and an empty heart that ached to be loved once more.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Wonpil/Park Jaehyung | Jae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>fics based on songs from my kinda depressing, kinda concerning spotify playlists [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2213955</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>alone in this world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes, he wondered if there was ever a possibility that this could have ended in a less messy way, one that did not involve him being in so much pain. An ending that did not leave him this broken and alone two months since The Breakup, but an ending all the same. Of course, it was stupid to look to the past and hope for a different, more favourable outcome, considering the fact that he <em>was</em> in pain, that he <em>was</em> broken and alone. </p><p>Jae stood on the roof of his apartment building, holding a few opened letters in one hand, and a bottle of beer in the other. They were cute love letters given to him on his birthday from Wonpil, his ex-boyfriend - well, <em>The</em> Ex. The one former lover that he was simply unable to move on from, the once-passionate romance that died out just as quickly as it started and yet he still waited for a text, a call, anything. Anything to let him know that he was not the only one feeling this way. </p><p>What was he feeling? Well, the blond did not exactly know. He felt sad, that’s for sure; everything felt empty the moment Wonpil walked out of the door that night after a particularly explosive argument that neither of them knew who started it in the first place, and his own heart felt hollow and void of meaning since then. Jae also knew that he was angry - who wouldn’t be? Wonpil had promised time and time again to be there by his side like a steady rock (and vice versa), to smile gently and squeeze his hand in reassurance when he could feel himself slipping into what was famously known among friends as the Park Jaehyung Emotional Slump, something he tended to gravitate to whenever life was getting a little too much for him. The younger man was always, always there for Jae when he needed him to be, and then he wasn’t. </p><p>Perhaps the abrupt way that Wonpil left his life was what stung the most. Jae never saw it coming, despite the near-constant arguments and passive-aggressive comments they had been spewing at each other in the weeks leading up to The Breakup. Hell, the two barely even kissed when they weren’t fighting, and when they did, it never quite felt the same as it did before, when they were still fairly early into their relationship. Wonpil’s once warm, pink, kissable lips were cold and distant with each dismissive peck on Jae’s cheek, an afterthought before he left for work, or before he went to bed. All of these telltale signs of a non-salvageable relationship, yet he still thought they were stronger than that, their relationship had a better foundation that no amount of petty fights could destroy. Obviously, Jae thought wrong.</p><p>Even now, two months after everything fell apart before him, Jae still believed that there was still hope for them, for him. He clung desperately onto the letters, read and re-read the paragraphs that detailed Wonpil’s unending love and adoration for the taller man until he had started to memorize them word-for-word. One letter was damp with what could either be beer or tears as a result of a particularly devastating night; <em>it’s probably the latter</em>, Jae thought. </p><p>Unfortunately for Jae, he still loved Wonpil, and to tell the truth, he did not think he ever really stopped loving him in the first place. He loved his ex’s adorable face, his honest-to-god odd little laugh that goes ‘hyuck-hyuck’ (and he liked making him laugh like that), the way his nose scrunched up when he made an awfully cute pout at Jae, and especially how Wonpil always knew what he was thinking, like there was some sort of telepathic connection between them. They did not date very long, it was a little over six months maybe, but god, those were the best six months in his entire life. Every day with Wonpil was what Jae could only describe as spending time with his actual soulmate, not that he ever believed in them before Wonpil came along. Yeah, imagine loving and losing someone who you thought was The One - it must hurt like hell, right? </p><p>The tall man took a swig of his beer, something new and possibly destructive that he had taken up in the aftermath of The Breakup. Jae was nowhere near ready to let go of Wonpil and the amount of love he still felt for him, but he knew there was nothing holding him back other than himself. His ex-boyfriend seemed to be completely fine, according to witnesses in the form of mutual friends Dowoon, Sungjin, and Younghyun, and at some point between now and the end of the year, Jae would have to come to terms with the fact that he and Wonpil were done for good. It hurts to even think of their relationship coming to an end just like that, but it was the reality that he simply could not continue to ignore any longer, and it would just tear him down even more if he kept holding out hope like this. </p><p>“I don’t really want to be alone, though,” Jae spoke aloud, placing the bottle of beer at his feet. He did not wish to be alone, to feel like a lone boat sailing across the wide, unyielding ocean that never seemed to end. At least with the letters from Wonpil, he felt like he was at least still loved so purely, so unconditionally, by <em>someone</em> out there, even if that someone was merely a ghost from the past that he can’t exactly let go of. Yeah, he was fucking screwed the longer he stayed in his little bubble of non-reality where he and Wonpil were still okay, still in love. That doesn’t mean he’s anxious to leave, though.  </p><p>He sighed and pulled out a lighter from his jeans pocket, one that he borrowed from Younghyun - he doesn’t smoke at all, he just had a lighter for his (many) scented candles in his home that he kindly lent to Jae, no questions asked. Jae lifted the letters up; there were seven in total, one for each day of the week leading up to Jae’s birthday at the time. The letters were handwritten, and the blond imagined Wonpil, hunched over a desk, carefully writing these letters out as neatly as he could. Jae always teased him about his handwriting, but there was nothing to laugh at at this time. They were the last things he had left of his ex, after all. </p><p>“God, I don’t think I can do this.” Jae groaned, flicking the lighter on repeatedly. Flick, stop, flick, stop, flick, stop. The thought of him setting the remnants of his relationship with the man he still loved on fire was overwhelming, he knew there would be no going back after he was done here. That was what made it so tempting though; the promise that things would get better from then on. </p><p>Jae lifted the lighter towards the corner of the first letter, his thumb resting almost hesitantly against the flint wheel. With a flick of his thumb, the well-read paper that contained Wonpil’s once-loving words began to catch fire. “Goodbye, Wonpil.” </p>
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